Have decided to forego therapy. This is partly because I have a definite case of Psychology Student’s Syndrome, and getting myself analyzed would probably prolong it. (That’s the one where you see symptoms of everything in yourself. Apparently I’m an insecure sociopath with depression and mania, not to mention narcissistic traits and low self-esteem.)
But, more than that, because I’ve sorted this out: Trying to understand whatever-it-is that’s gone on in my head is part of my chronic inability to stop asking questions. A friend of mine once compared me to the kind of cartoon supervillain who tries to obtain Ultimate Knowledge, but goes insane upon getting it. And in all seriousness, I’ve gotten a lot of people riled up at me out of sheer unbridled curiosity on my part. I’m a knowledge junkie.
The first step of any twelve-step program is to admit that you can’t control things. So this is me not trying to control whatever-it-is. This is me shutting up and letting go.
If this gets me into trouble in the future, I’ll burn that bridge when I come to it. (And, if possible, I’ll keep you posted.)
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The next step in any twelve-step program is surrendering yourself to God “a higher power as you understand it.” Does karma count? In any case, this provides a nice segue into the fact that I’ll be spending the next week building a deck through the Sunset Gap Community Center. Which means no Internet.
I’ll get some reading done, though. (This time last year, I was reading up on pregnancy. Now I’m doing continued research on PTSD. Still inspired by the need to research Colbert fic, though. Plus ça change, plus le même chose.)
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At home, I’ve been attempting to clean my room. It needs cleaning, badly. Photos of it look like a “find the hidden objects” puzzle. So, if you’re up for the challenge . . .
